Help your child build a practical anxiety toolkit with 12 coping skills for calming the body, handling worried thoughts and taking small brave steps.
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Coping skills for anxiety help children calm their bodies, understand anxious thoughts and take manageable steps through situations that feel frightening.
The most effective activities to calm anxiety will depend on the child and the moment. Breathing might help when their heart is racing, movement when their body feels restless and talking when a worry feels too heavy to carry alone.
Children do not need to master every technique. The aim is to help your child build a small, familiar collection of tools they can choose from when their anxiety alarm begins to sound.
What are coping skills for anxiety?
Coping skills are things children can do to make anxious thoughts and feelings easier to manage.
They are not ways to force anxiety away. Anxiety is a normal human response, and fighting against it makes it feel even more powerful.
Instead, coping skills can help children:
- Recognise when they are becoming anxious
- Feel safer and steadier in their bodies
- Express thoughts they cannot easily say aloud
- Respond differently to anxious predictions
- Tolerate uncomfortable feelings
- Take small steps towards something they fear
- Ask a trusted adult for help
I often describe anxiety as being like a security alarm. Sometimes the alarm warns us of a real danger. At other times, it sounds because something feels threatening even though we are safe.
Coping skills help children turn down the alarm enough to decide what they need next.
Here are 12 practical anxiety tools children can try. Practise them during calm moments so they feel familiar when anxiety appears.
1. Take a dragon breath
Ask your child to breathe in through their nose, take another small breath in and then slowly push the air out through their mouth like a dragon.
Repeat this several times without forcing the breath.
A long breath out can help the body begin to slow down. Some children find an imaginative breath easier to remember than an instruction to “calm down”.
2. Shake out the anxious energy
Anxiety prepares the body to act. Sitting still may not feel possible when a child’s muscles are tense and their heart is beating quickly.
Encourage them to:
- Shake their hands
- Wriggle their shoulders
- March on the spot
- Bounce their heels
- Dance to a favourite song
- Go for a short walk
Movement gives the body somewhere to put its restless energy.
3. Use the five senses
A grounding exercise can bring a child’s attention away from frightening predictions and back to what is happening now.
Ask them to notice:
- Five things they can see
- Four things they can feel
- Three things they can hear
- Two things they can smell
- One thing they can taste
Younger children may prefer a shorter version, such as finding three blue objects or noticing everything they can hear.
4. Draw where anxiety lives in the body
Anxiety can cause a tight chest, hot cheeks, shaky hands, tense shoulders, butterflies or a stomach ache.
Draw a simple body outline and invite your child to mark where they notice anxious feelings. They can use words, colours, shapes or scribbles.
Recognising the physical signs of anxiety helps a child notice when their alarm is beginning to sound, and when it might be time to use a coping skill.
5. Write or draw the worry
Anxious thoughts can go around in circles. Putting the worry on paper gives the child some distance from it.
They could:
- Write the worry in a thought bubble
- Draw anxiety as a character or creature
- Put worries into a worry box
- Make two lists: “Things I can do something about” and “Things I cannot control”
- Write down a worry to revisit with an adult later
Some children find writing easier than answering direct questions about how they feel.
6. Give anxiety a name
Naming anxiety can help children see it as something they experience rather than something they are.
Your child might call it:
- The worry alarm
- The worry monster
- A name of their own invention
You could then say, “The worry alarm is very loud today. What is it telling you?”
This accepts the feeling while creating space to question what anxiety says.
7. Use a helpful coping statement
A coping statement should feel believable. “Nothing bad will happen” cam be too broad for an anxious child to trust.
Try:
- “I can feel anxious and still do this.”
- “I only need to take one step.”
- “This feeling will change.”
- “I have coped with difficult feelings before.”
- “I don’t have to know exactly what will happen.”
- “I can ask for help.”
- “Being brave means trying while I still feel scared.”
Let your child choose or write a phrase that sounds like something they would genuinely say.
8. Choose one small brave step
Avoiding a fear can bring immediate relief, but it may make the anxiety feel more powerful next time.
Help your child break a safe but frightening situation into small steps.
A child worried about joining a new club might:
- Look at photographs of the venue.
- Find out what will happen.
- Visit the building with a parent.
- Meet the person running the group.
- Watch part of a session.
- Join in for ten minutes.
- Gradually stay for longer.
The first step should feel challenging but possible. If your child is overwhelmed, make it smaller.
This approach is only appropriate when the situation is fundamentally safe. If the child is being bullied, harmed or placed in an unsuitable environment, the source of the danger needs to be addressed.
9. Remember a time they coped
Anxiety is good at predicting disaster and forgetting evidence of capability.
Ask:
- “When have you felt like this before?”
- “What helped you cope last time?”
- “What did you do that was brave?”
- “What do you know now that you didn’t know then?”
You could create a bravery record containing drawings, notes or photographs of difficult things your child has managed.
Confidence grows from realising that they felt anxious, and coped regardless.
10. Do something creative
Drawing, colouring, modelling, crafting and making music can give an anxious mind a steady point of focus.
The activity does not need to be about anxiety. The aim can simply be to help your child settle.
Creative activities can also make conversation easier. A child who finds direct eye contact uncomfortable may begin talking while their hands are occupied.
11. Talk to a trusted adult
Children need to know that coping independently does not mean coping alone.
Help your child identify several people they can approach, such as:
- A parent or carer
- A teacher or teaching assistant
- A relative
- A school pastoral worker
- A coach or group leader
- Another adult they know and trust
Practise what they could say:
- “I’m feeling anxious.”
- “My tummy feels funny and I need some help.”
- “Can I sit somewhere quiet?”
- “I don’t know how to explain it, but something feels wrong.”
Asking for support is itself a coping skill.
12. Rest
Anxiety is tiring. Children may need quiet time after school, a social event or another demanding experience.
Rest can include:
- Reading
- Listening to an audiobook
- Spending time with a pet
- Being outside
- Having a bath
- Sitting quietly with a trusted adult
- Doing a familiar activity
Rest should support recovery from stress and anxiety, rather than becoming the only way a child can avoid every difficult feeling. The balance will be different for every child.
Coping skills for anxiety worksheets
Worksheets can help children explore anxiety without relying on a direct conversation.
My four-page printable anxiety workbook includes:
- A child-friendly explanation of the anxiety alarm
- Thought bubbles for drawing or writing worries
- A body-mapping activity
- Breathing and movement exercises
- A calming colouring page
The worksheets are designed for parents, teachers, nurture groups and other adults supporting primary-aged children. They can be downloaded and printed at home or school.
Try using one page at a time. An anxiety worksheet should feel like an invitation, not homework or a test of how well a child can manage their emotions.
Coping skills for anxiety at night
Anxiety often peaks at bedtime because the distractions of the day have disappeared.
Children may replay something that happened, worry about tomorrow or become frightened that they will not be able to sleep.
Helpful coping skills for anxiety at night include:
- Setting aside time to talk about worries before bedtime
- Writing down anything that needs attention tomorrow
- Following a familiar winding-down routine
- Taking slow breaths
- Relaxing the body one part at a time
- Listening to a familiar story or quiet music
- Using a dim nightlight if darkness is frightening
- Keeping a comfort object nearby
Try not to hold a long problem-solving conversation once your child is in bed. Listen briefly, acknowledge the feeling and remind them that the worry has been recorded and can be revisited tomorrow.
The Bedtime Worry Journal gives children guided prompts for putting down the thoughts that become louder at night.
You can also read my complete guide to helping children with anxiety at bedtime.
What if a coping skill doesn’t work?
A coping skill is not a switch that turns anxiety off. Your child may still feel worried after breathing, moving or writing down their thoughts, and that does not mean the technique has failed.
Ask whether the skill made the feeling slightly more manageable:
- Did their breathing slow?
- Were they able to speak?
- Did they remain in the situation for another minute?
- Could they identify what they needed?
- Did the anxiety eventually pass?
A technique that helps one day may not help the next. Encourage experimentation rather than insisting that your child use a particular tool.
Sometimes a child doesn’t need another technique. They need food, sleep, less stress, a change to their environment It’s also worth considering whether something is genuinely wrong.
Read next: How to help children with anxiety
Books that teach coping skills for anxiety
Some children find it easier to learn anxiety tools through a book. A book provides explanations and activities without putting the child under pressure to talk about themselves immediately.
Don’t Worry, Be Happy
An illustrated activity book for children aged 7–11. Fiz, a friendly character, guides children through explanations of anxiety, practical exercises and activities for understanding worried thoughts and feelings.
Shrink Your Worries
A practical guide for children aged 7+ combining cognitive behavioural therapy and mindfulness methods. Activities include handprint breathing, confidence boosters, recognising anxiety and creating a bravery plan.
For more guidance on choosing and using a book, read my guide to anxiety books for kids.
Support for parents and carers
Coping skills are useful, but children rely on the adults around them to provide calm, connection and support.
How to Support Your Anxious Child is a practical guide for parents and carers. It covers recognising anxiety, helping children express their feelings, practising calming techniques, building helpful routines and knowing when to seek further support.
My short course, Help Your Child Face Their Fear (Without Making It Worse), focuses on what to do when anxiety leads a child to avoid something frightening. It shows parents how to respond calmly and help their child take a manageable step without pushing or rescuing.
When to seek further help
Self-help techniques can support children with everyday worries, but they are not a substitute for individual medical or psychological advice.
Speak to your child’s school, school nurse or GP if anxiety:
- Is severe, persistent or getting worse
- Interferes with school, family life or friendships
- Regularly affects sleep or eating
- Causes frequent physical symptoms
- Leads to increasing avoidance
- Causes significant distress
The NHS has further guidance on anxiety in children.
Frequently asked questions
What are five coping skills for anxiety?
Five simple coping skills for children are slow breathing, rhythmic movement, grounding through the senses, drawing or writing down a worry and talking to a trusted adult.
What is the best coping skill for an anxious child?
There is no single best technique. Movement may help a restless child, while drawing might suit a child who struggles to talk. Begin by noticing whether the anxiety is affecting the child’s body, thoughts or behaviour, then try a skill that responds to that need.
How can I teach my child coping skills?
Introduce and practise coping skills when your child is calm. Demonstrate the activity, try it together and let your child decide which tools feel helpful. It is much harder to learn a new technique in the middle of intense anxiety.
Can worksheets teach coping skills for anxiety?
Worksheets can help children recognise worried thoughts, identify physical sensations and practise techniques such as breathing and movement. Use them as a starting point for exploration rather than expecting the child to complete every page.
What coping skills help with anxiety at night?
Writing worries down before bed, following a predictable routine, slow breathing, relaxing the body and listening to something familiar may help. Set aside time for worries before lights-out so bedtime does not become a long problem-solving session.
About the author
Poppy O’Neill is a bestselling and award-winning children’s author specialising in mental health and emotional wellbeing. She has written more than 25 books for children and parents, with over 450,000 copies sold worldwide in 12 languages.
Her books about childhood anxiety include Don’t Worry, Be Happy, Shrink Your Worries, No More Worries!, The Bedtime Worry Journal and the parent guide How to Support Your Anxious Child. Poppy makes complex emotional ideas clear, reassuring and practical for children and the adults supporting them.